“Get off the road, you two wheeled fool.
You lot don’t pay your share.
The road’s for cars and trucks and buses.
No room for free-loaders there.”
And always dodged the fray.
But I agree with what they want.
Bike Rego for all, I say.
As legitimate road users.
We’ll show them we belong here.
No more tight-fisted excuses.
The Rego burden should be shared,
By all who use the road.
So I’ve got a proposition,
To share the financial load.
By burdens that they bear,
So bill each vehicle by its weight.
I’ll gladly pay my share.
So I’d be keen to foot the bill,
For potholes my eight kilos cause.
And wait – I’ll do more still.
So expensive just to build.
I’ve measured across my handlebars.
And I’ll pay for the space I’ve filled.
And to get a bigger road fund,
I’ll pay more if my handlebars,
Take up less room than my bum.
Of nasty smelly emissions.
So Bike Rego should pay for my impact
On environmental conditions.
So with a method tried and tested,
I’ll claim a little rebate,
For the carbon it’s sequestered.
On other things as well.
Such as my toxic outputs
Fuelled by sports drinks, bars and gels.
Or a fee for laboured breathing.
Surely extra should be paid
For the added oxygen I am receiving.
To arrive at an equitable fee.
The user-pays system for all road users,
With bike rego for Two Dollars Ninety Three.
And to share my road user views,
Join me in my next great quest
To register sandshoes.